January 27th 2019

For Better or Worse

Part 1

This morning we are kicking off a new 3-week focus on the subject of relationships. I’d like to clarify that while the main focus will center around marriage and dating; the principles we apply to our lives because they come from Jesus, also apply to our relationships with our children, parents, co-workers, church relations and pretty much anyone we come into contact with on a regular basis.

Main Scripture Verses

Hebrews 11:6

John 13:35

I John 4:10

John 15:13

John 3:16

I John 3:16

Speaker

Pastor Vince Farrell

Senior  Pastor 

 

For Better or Worse – Part 1

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This morning we are kicking off a new 3-week focus on the subject of relationships. I’d like to clarify that while the main focus will center around marriage and dating; the principles we apply to our lives because they come from Jesus, also apply to our relationships with our children, parents, co-workers, church relations and pretty much anyone we come into contact with on a regular basis.

That being said, this morning we are going to look at the most important factor in communicating your faith…
To clarify, the most important factor in living out your Christian life is FAITH.
Hebrews 11:6 says…
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV
Faith is what God requires us to live by. I want to introduce to us this morning the largest factor that must be visible to everyone around us that proves we live by faith.
I’m going to call it…

The Love Covenant

The way you and I live out this thing called love is what reveals to others around us that we really do have a covenant relationship with God and that it spills out to others around us. Jesus himself said in John 13:35 and then Paul echoes it in 1 Corinthians 13:1…
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
John 13:35 NLT
and also in 1 Corinthians
 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
1 Corinthians 13:1 NIV

Love! The subject and understanding have been so abused and wrongly defined by our culture that I must take the time to properly reset our soul in knowing the true meaning of love.

The World says… 

“Love is an overwhelming feeling you have towards someone, the feeling you get when you can’t stand the thought of being away from them. They are “the one.” There is certainly nothing wrong with those feelings. But feelings come and go. Society certainly has played out this Greko-Roman myth: it’s why we developed a “Cupid” mindset that “we don’t choose who to love, love chose us” and “the heart wants what it wants” is constantly bombarding us on every TV show, movie, and song we see and hear. It’s false!

God says…

Love is an _________ of the ________, accompanied ___ __________ that _________ to ________ on behalf ____ its ___________.
As a Believer, a Christian, a Christ following, a Disciple…the Bible is and must be our standard. Not feelings but God’s Word. It’s why this definition must be lived out. Covenant is the horse, feelings are the cart. We can not allow the cart before the horse.
God defines what love is and proved it by His Son, Jesus.

Watch this…because this is a JESUS in a 3D moment…

 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
1 John 4:10 NKJV
and in the Book of John
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
John 15:13 NKJV
also in Chapter 3;
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 NKJV
and finally back to 1st John
By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
I John 3:16 NKJV
As we follow the same thought as last month with looking at the next 60 months of our lives….. let’s continue looking forward. 59 months from now, my hope is that:
  • Your marriage will be better.
  • Your relationship with your kids will be better.
  • Your relationship with your family will be better.
  • Your commitment to your church will be better.
  • Your relationship with God will be better.

Your marriage is either getting better or worse, it never stands still.

Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, “The 5 Love Languages” says that “There are two essentials for a long term healthy marriage.” Today, that’s what I want to share with us to lay a foundation to build upon over the next few weeks.

Two Essentials for Marriage:

The two individuals in the marriage must feel loved and appreciated.

We all can certainly agree with this but why do so many married people get divorced and call it quits because of not feeling loved or no longer feeling in love? Dr. Chapman goes on to answer that question, “because what makes one person feel loved does not make another person feel loved.”
This is where we must learn to speak each other’s love language.
The 5 Love Languages
  1. Words of affirmation: using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The flies were going to carry it out for you.”
  2. Gifts: a gift says, “I’m thinking about you. You’ve heard the phrase, “it’s the thought that counts”…… that’s not a cop-out to not get a gift because the rest of it looks like this…” it’s the thought that propelled me to go out and get this for you that counts.”
  3. Acts of Service: Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service. And if you’re keeping points… no points are given if you’re being asked to do those things. You may do the act but because you didn’t initiate it on your own…. it won’t communicate that you value them.
  4. Quality time: by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and listening.
  5. Physical touch: holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.
Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.

Rarely do a husband an wife speak the same love language and by nature, you speak what your love language. Because of this, you may be speaking love but not communicating it.

They key is that we must learn to speak the other person’s language.

Two Essentials for Marriage:

2. Deal effectively with your failures

We will dive into this point next week because we need to take some time and dive a litter deeper into discovering what love language you speak and what love language your spouse speaks. So, you’ve got some homework.
At the “RED WALL” in the lobby, you’ll find a table with a quick Love Language assessment test for you both to take. Lastly, above that table at the red wall is an overview of each love language for you to take and have for your own totally free.

Take the FREE Love Language Assessment

You can get your results instantly online and free by going to the link below. If your partner has not already done so, encourage him/her to take The 5 Love Languages Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve your relationship!

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/